We can’t control a lot of things in life, and it can get SUPER frustrating. Things like other peoples’ behaviour, our colleagues mistakes, the weather, our travel plans… this can completely throw us off and leave us feeling low, irritated, stressed, anxious and ultimately really disliking our situation and experiences.
3 min read
It doesn’t have to be like this – there is so much beauty and excitement to come when we allow things to just be.
I’m aware that’s easier said than done… so I’m here to show you WHY we think it’s an issue and HOW to feel so much better about our professional and personal life using our brains and yoga. I’m a massive advocate for getting physical and practicing these life skills because it’s what makes it really, and my god, SO much easier to apply. Affirmations, a great morning routine, eating nutritionally and getting some beautiful sleep also make it 10x easier to apply, but this is the most powerful starting point.
Usually when we get stressed and frustrated over things we can’t control, it’s because we’ve become so attached to what we want something to look and feel like. We convince ourselves that this is the only outcome that will make us happy, and that this is the only good outcome that can happen. Fortunately, I can tell you that whatever you have in your mind is not the only outcome that will make you happy and it’s not the only good outcome that can happen. You’ll be surprised at how much we can control, we just don’t know we can.
Life is full of glorious possibilities, usually ones that are so much better than our beautiful brains can imagine, but those possibilities can either be completely forgotten about or completely ignored if we stay so set on the outcome we think we want – you are in control of yourself and your thoughts, and that is so beautifully powerful. Self-efficacy is a massive way to build our confidence in our abilities, which we can control and being open to possibilities is the first way to get there.
If you hate feeling out of control, it’s because of that attachment to the outcome. Have you ever meticulously planned a trip and been so stressed over the little details like the weather, the appearance of the accommodation, the moods of other people? Or been so focused on a project going exactly like you want it to and stressed over the possibility that it might not go exactly like you wanted it to? This is something I’ve struggled with, and something I’m still learning to tackle – it’s something I’ve found to be so detrimental. Even if the project goes better than I expected it to, I was still so attached to what I thought I wanted, that I ignored all the beauty of what actually happened. The trick is to think about what you want for 5 minutes, release it and be open to EVERYTHING else that could come up.
Let’s play here – imagine you’ve decided to hold a party. You want everyone to have fun, to eat and drink the food you’ve provide, dance and sing and leave saying it was the party of the year. Whilst this is great, it’s super limiting and will feel horrible if it doesn’t go exactly like we want it to. Living and being completely attached to the party being exactly like this, is like walking into a hotel corridor, seeing 10 doors but only seeing the one at the end and ignoring the rest. That one door looks inviting because it’s what we know, it’s what we feel comfortable with. Every other door is bright and shiny and glittering and has an amazing experience behind each one. But let’s say it doesn’t go like you want it to, maybe it rains, the caterer is late and the drinks taste horrible – this leads to everyone laughing, grabbing take-aways and raiding the local supermarket for the best wine they have. This opens you up to other amazing things; at the party you meet the love of your life, you make a connection to someone in your career and it catapults you into your dream profession, you get given an amazing dress from someone who was throwing it away, it not only became the party of the year but everyone wants to make it annual – all of these possibilities are behind every door that you are keeping closed by running to that final, comfortable door.
Every time you go into a new situation, a new project, a new day – stand at that corridor, visualise that end door and everything you think you want and as you walk down to open it, open all the other beautiful doors on the way to allow in everything else you can’t even imagine in this moment.
And whilst it’s true, we can’t control other peoples behaviour, the weather or the specifics of a situation – it’s actually a good thing that we can’t, because it would restrict all the other amazing things that could happen.
To help cement this lesson, and to allow ourselves to let go of the outcome and let in all the beauty – I have some beautiful yoga poses for you to try. Head on over to Instagram to follow along daily with the poses, or check them out below.
Puppy Childs Downward dog Corpse Tree Seated forward fold Warrior II
And remember, I’m here for you. Book in a free 30 minute chat to run over even more strategies to pin-point and tackle your challenges. You don’t have to do this on your own.